I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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