Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
