everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
