im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Randomize
