Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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