fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
