i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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