Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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