I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
