real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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