im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
