i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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