I wish I could teleport
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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