Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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