She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
this must be what syphilis tastes like
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
