please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
