why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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