honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
