as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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