watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
