Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
