You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just want to make out with him forever
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
