At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
