Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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