so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
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