Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
A bitchslap is in order.
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