I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
