I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
