I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
