I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
They have beer where we have blood.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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