Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
