Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
