You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
