I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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