Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
