so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
