i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
