yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
