I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
