I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
