PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
