Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
