so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
