I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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