we have officially mastered the walk of shame
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
