Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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