So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
