Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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