Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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