hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
