There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
