Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Randomize
