Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
