I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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