shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
