we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
