I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
